Why Am I So Tired?

In some ways, the past few months have been a break. There has been more time spent at home, fewer commitments, and very few reasons to wear real pants. I personally took the time to catch up on sleep, get in some much-needed cuddling with my husband, and read a book or two that I’ve been meaning to. Yet even with the relaxing of my schedule, I don’t feel more well-rested. We are all STILL tired.

This means that the tired we have all been claiming may not actually be what we think it is. We use tired as the catch-all term for having low energy. In these (urg I’m gonna say it) uncertain times it is easy to get into a funk and still feel “tired” so let’s examine why you might be tired and what you can do about it.

Let’s start out with the no-brainer. Maybe Sleep is the problem. If you are tired because of your sleep it is one (or more) of three things. You may be sleeping too much, not enough, or not well. The first thing I encourage you to do is dismiss your preconceived notions about your sleep. We all have different ideas of how well we sleep and how much, but let’s gather some data instead of guessing. The simplest way to do this is to download a sleep tracking app onto your phone both apple and android have great ones. Every night this week take your phone to bed (just this once) and let it collect data on how long and how soundly you sleep. If you have a smartwatch or fitness tracker that may have a sleep tracking feature. You can go no tech by simply writing down your bedtime, waketime, and noting any times you wake up in the night. 

Do the work to get real answers about how you are sleeping and then adjust. We often think we are not getting enough sleep when we are actually getting too much. Too much sleep makes you even sleepier than too little. Adjust your sleep to match your life. I give myself an extra hour of sleep at certain times in my menstrual cycle because I have learned my body needs it. And if I have a lot to get done in a day I shoot for 7 hours of sleep the night before instead of 8, that hour less makes me more alert. Learn what works for you and don’t assume you will be able to feel when you have had the right amount of sleep. Too many things in our modern lives wreck our bodies ability to time sleep properly. 

Speaking of which, check in on your sleep habits as well. Devices before bed, tv, light in your room while you sleep, racing thoughts, caffeine too late in the day, sugar, the environment you sleep in, the amount of activity you got during your day, and tons of other factors, all impact how well you sleep. Take some time to clean up your sleep routine. Below are my favorite recommendations

• Have a caffeine cut-off in your day. I don’t drink caffeine after 3pm

• Shut down all devices and bright lights at LEAST an hour before bed

• Block out light that shines into your bedroom at night

• Get 30+ minutes of activity in your day (not too close to bedtime though)

• Create a routine that helps you wind down and tells your body its time for bed (mine is herbal tea and reading)

• Journal or meditate to clear your head before bed

Sleep is the most obvious but it isn’t the only reason you are “tired”

In this auspicious year of 2020, you might be more emotionally tired than physically tired. Take some time to check in with your mental and emotional health. This year had weighed heavily on everyone in different ways. When your emotional needs are not being met or when you allow anxiety to take control of your thoughts, you can bleed emotional energy. Check-in with your mental state and your emotional needs. Do you need to find more ways to connect with others, are you carrying the weight of the world (and 2020) on your shoulders, have you taken time to relax and do self-care, are you neglecting your mental health because so many other people “have it worse”? Ask yourself these questions and seek the help you may need. 2020 has weighed on each of us differently. Don’t be stingy with your own wellbeing. You can’t have physical energy when your emotional energy is exhausted.

In particular, we often exhaust our mental/emotional energy with anxiety, worry, and racing thoughts. There is plenty to be anxious about right now, so now more than ever, is a great time to embrace mindfulness or some type of contemplative practice. Yoga, meditation, mindfulness, and various creative practices all hone our ability to slow our brains down and narrow our focus to the present moment. Choosing a practice of mindfulness in your life brings replenishing energy back to you by training your brain away from draining anxiety.

Just like too much sleep makes us tired, too little exercise also makes us tired. Moderate exercise wakes us up, gets our blood moving, and ultimately gives us more energy. Short term, exercise helps you sleep better, relieves stress, and gives you more energy throughout the day. When you have a consistent exercise habit, it builds your health comprehensively and gives you more energy by making you literally better at breathing. Consistent exercise improves your body’s ability to utilize oxygen in the air. Listen all know we should be exercising. Just do it. It will help you be less tired.

And finally, if you are still tired after checking in on your sleep, your mental health, adding a contemplative practice, and exercising, you may need to re-evaluate your expectations for yourself. If you are still tired, it is very likely you are overextending yourself. Now more than ever we need to take time to evaluate our capacities. We like to believe that we can do everything we put our minds to but that is a gross misquote. We can do anything we put our minds to but not everything, not at once. This year has demanded alot from us, we cannot demand from ourselves more and more on top of that. Take some time to list out Everything that is being asked of you right now. Look at your list and measure it against what is possible for you. This isn’t the time to consider what is humanly possible just what is possible for you. Whittle your list of commitments down to what can be reasonably asked of you. Our capacity in life grows and shrinks. Honor where your capacity is right now. You can slowly grow your capacity but if you attempt to overfill it your capacity will actually shrink and you will not be able to fully express or enjoy what you are able to do. Plus, you will feel tired.